I am Back!So is the Premier League!

Good evening all! After a brief hiatus chasing the ever elusive perfect GMAT score, I am officially BACK! AAAAAAAND so is the premier league! (Try not to contain yourselves too much, I know you missed me more). So many important events have occurred while I was on “holiday”, so I would like to begin my comeback by giving to you basically a tweet preview (120 characters….ish) of each Top Flight english squad to help kick off the 2015/2016 campaign! Should be easy…right?

Lets start with the easiest team to dissect:

ARSENAL

WIll Petr Cech be the high-caliber keeper that turns the gunners from choke-artists to proper contenders?Will Wenger sign another striker…Benzema?

AFC BOURNEMOUTH 

1899: Inaugural season; 1997:Club almost folds due to more than 7 million pounds of debt and unable to pay its players, supporters raise 1.4 million pounds; 2015: 1st EVER BPL season. #Moneyball

ASTON VILLA

No Benteke, delph, or Cissokho. Lets see what Rudy Gestede and Jordan Ayew can do. Brad Guzan… better be ready for action. Adama Traore?????

CHELSEA

Will the deadly Fabregras, Matic, , Oscaar, Hazard combo troll the BPL again and win the League? Is Douglas Costa more injury-prone than the glass-kneed RVP? Is John Stones the Batman to John Terry’s Bane?

MANCHESTER CITY 

Bye-Bye Dzeko. Is Sterling Liverpool’s or ManCity’s reckoning? Is he a selfish, underdeveloped youngin that will crack under pressure faster than batman’s back smashing on Bane’s Knee. Pellegrini out? Pep in? (Lots of Batman analogies today, huh?) 

MANCHESTER UNITED

No RVP. No Di Maria. LVG vs De Gea. LVG vs. the Glazers. LVG vs. Wayne Rooney. LVG vs. BPL. Rooney, Schweini and Schneiderlin to lead the way.

LIVERPOOL

RODGERS’ LAST CHANCE. No more Stevie G., Onto the Henderson Captaincy era. Will Benteke or Ings become the Luigi or Bowser to Super Mario. Millner earned this contract and will become a fast leader of the team. 

SWANSEA CITY

The Succesful Monk philosophy for 3 more years. Couple new faces…ahem Eder. Season opener vs. returning champs Chelsea is a tough draw.

SUNDERLAND

Coates, Kaboul, M’Vila in. Veringi, Wickford out. Giacherini stay.  Adam Henderson’s off-field woes postponed to next year. Will they be in the vyng for relegation. 

SOUTHHAMPTON

Big shoes to fill from Schneiderlin loss. Will the Stingiest defence in the BPL last season returrn to its surprising form. No Osvaldo and possibly no Fonte. Can Graziano Pelle score at the same rate this season. Lots of questions.

TOTTENHAM

Mo Po has his hands full. Spurs need a return to consistency. Lloris is looking for UCL football, will he convince the talented shot-stopper to stay. Is Harry Kane truly the next Bale? Sell Lamela?

LEICESTER CITY

Bad Choice in hiring Ranieri (Roma fan here). Already lost your best player in Esteban Cambiasso, who’s next? Son of Schmeichel?

NEWCASTLE UNITED

Steve McClaren has arrived. He now works for the worlds Stingiest Owner. Good Luck. Atleast you resigned Coloccini… lets hope for less reds this year.

CRYSTAL PALACE

My dark horse of this years BPL. Yohan Cabaye? What a steal! An influx of talent will only help solidiy a young and scary XI. Cabaye, Bolasie connection will be nice.

Norwich City

Fighting to not be relegated right back down to the Championship. 

WEST HAM UNITED

Farewell big Sam. Farewell Upton park? The era of Bilic is already in shambles by “sacrificing”Europa League. Andy Carroll may be healthy for once. Valencia injured. Downing was sold to his hometown club. Will Payet actually make the hammers better?

WATFORD

The signings of decent players like Behrami, Berghuis, Nyom and Britos will help this team produce some surprising results. Let’s hope they can remain afloat and stay in the top flight.


WEST BROMWICH ALBION

Ricky Lambert + Saido Behrani connection may be a match made in heaven. The 22 year-old is loooking to build on last year’s successful campaign that was filled with 20 solid goals.

EVERTON

Tim Howard looks like he enjoyed his off season, possibly too much. Let’s hope he wwill come into the season strong and in top form.  Romelu Lukaku will look to net many more with the help of new-boy Tom Cleverly.  May be a contender. 

STOKE CITY

May be a surprising contender as well to finish close to the top of the table.  What they lost in Asmir Begovic, Stoke gained with Shay Given. Look to Marco Van Ginkle to shine and push this young team throughout this season. Xherdan Shaqiri could definitely help!

Do you agree? disagree? please lets us know what you think! Thats all for now folks. 

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