The Federated States of Micronesia have an international soccer team that is ranked 200 in the world by FIFA. The team entered this year’s Pacific Games in an attempt to qualify for the 2016 Olympics. Things did not go so well!
In their third and last game of the tournament, Micronesia lost 46-0 to Vanuatu. Prior to that beat down, they fell 38-0 to Fiji and 30-0 to Tahiti. There’s not a lot of video from these games floating around so you’ll have to use your imagination, but go ahead and assume that there was a lot of wide-eyed disbelief involved.
Naturally, these three games put some insane stats in the box score. Tahiti racked up seven hat tricks in their 30-0 win, Vanatau’s Jean Kaltak scored 16 goals in Tuesday’s game, and Fiji’s Antonio Tuivuna put 10 balls into the net.
Growing up I always used to joke that if I lived in a small island nation that I could make their international team. Now I know the wouldn’t be any good and I’d probably have to work as a coconut farmer as my full-time day job but I think it would be worth it. You get to call yourself an international soccer player, play soccer in the sun, and live a relaxing island lifestyle. In fact I’m surprised more players don’t do it. I remember during one World Cup the Japanese national team (I think) had a Brazilian on their team who was very good but would have never made the Brazilian national team. I assume thats the case with many Brazilian soccer players. What if all those talented Brazilian players became citizens of Micronesia or a similar tiny island nation? They wouldn’t be a powerhouse obviously. However, they’d probably be good enough to win a a bunch of games and play in World Cup/Olympic qualifying. I think that would be a sweet life. I just wish I had a grandparent who was Micronesian so they could recruit me. First thing I would do would be to change my Linkedin profile. “International Soccer Player/Coconut Farmer”